'Till the Heavens Burst...and the Word Don't Rhyme

This morning I was listening to the radio on my way to school. I don't particularly like listening to the radio but it's all I have because my c.d. player is broken and my really old version of an ipod decided to die. The song "Always" came on by the ever so classic Bon Jovi. It reminded me of driving around in the car with Carrie, Jenny, and Amy while we made up really cheesy motions to the song. It brought a smile to my face.

So, I survived my first week of school. I have a really sweet class but for some reason 5 of the kids on my list never showed up so that makes it where I have a super small class compared to everyone else. I feel kinda guilty about it but I know I will be getting all the kids that move in. I am crazy tired, my body is not used to my new schedule particularly the part about getting up at 5:30 in the morning. I am not and have never been a morning person.

Thank you for all of the kind words on the last post. Justin was my rock during our time in California. He constantly encouraged me and listened to me cry to him at night. I know it was a learning experience and I know there was a bigger purpose for that job than I realize. Otherwise, we had a great time in California. It was an extreme growing time for Justin and my marriage, we had to learn to depend only on each other because we didn't have family close by. We learned how to find fun things to do that didn't cost much. I remember driving down Sepulveda with our windows down listening to The White Stripes, you can't beat that kind of scurry that you feel in the city. It's a really fun feeling.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Obsession unlike the perfume

Why is it that I have the tendency to focus on (no, obsess) about my failures? And when it comes to my successes, I sweep right over them. I guess when it comes to me, I am not used to failure, so when it happens, I have a really hard time forgiving myself.

When Justin and I lived in California, I worked for The Devil Wears Prada and it was extremely hard on me. It is the only job in my whole life that I feel like I was completely misrepresented and unsucessful. I thought being a nanny would be easy and fun but it turned out to be the opposite, stressful and it put me on an emotional roller coaster. Nothing I ever did was good enough for this family and I went home crying to Justin one too many times. Actually this quote from The Devil Wears Prada sums up exactly how I felt working for that family:

" I don't know what else I can do because if I do something right, it's unacknowledged. She doesn't even say thank you. But if I do something wrong, she is vicious. "

Well, I did something wrong that was the unforgiveable sin and I knew if I didn't quit, I would never hear the end of it and my life would be miserable. Even though I know I did the right thing to quit, I can't help but think about the situation and feel guilty and get down about it. I think it is my obsessive nature to continue to relive and torture myself about these kinds of things.

I dont' know if I'm the only one to do these kinds of things but it is definitely a weakness that the devil has found especially now that I am about to start a new job. The beginning of the year is a nervewracking time for a teacher. I am also very excited and looking forward to teaching again. This will prove to be a very busy week for me. I have been working very hard to get my classroom ready before Thursday night when we will meet our new students and their parents.

I hope everyone enjoyed this beautifully rainy weekend as much as me! This weather is such a nice break in the middle of August!

I'm finally here...

Hello Blogger world. I am happy to say that I have officially started my own blog. I promised Leah I would, now it's xanga resurrected, yay!

Well, I started my first official day back to school as a teacher in the Gravette School District. We had a full day of listening to a speaker and I remembered how boring that can get. You start getting the feeling that you just have to get out of your seat and run around or something. You resort to doodling and thinking of all kinds of "to do" lists you can jot down, and you think of all of the other important things you could be doing at that exact moment if you weren't stuck sitting there. I know I should take that feeling and have a little mercy on my students when they are sitting for too long. Yes, I will do that.

Justin is off practicing with the worship band tonight. He stays really busy playing drums for the church which is wonderful and he loves it. He is so talented and dedicated, I am really happy to see that God is using his talents. When Justin gets home, we have a date to watch Project Runway (or PR as some of us say). Getting back into a regiment really takes a toll on me, so I'm going to have to get my body used to this schedule again. I have to say I love sleeping in a little TOO much for someone my age. Haha!

Love to all!